0xea (Xea, Christie)

This is 0xea

My 2024 blood plasma concentrations

My beloved plush bunny called Molly!

What's underneeth the smile (4th day sleep deprivation)

help.png (an old depiction of how my mind experiences itself)

My left arm hotspot map

Psyche

• autism spectrum disorder (diagnosed; overload causes sensory pain and thought deceleration))
• extensive repressed memories amnesia (extensive repressed memories, reaccuring sudden inability to access any memories including who I am)
• transgender (male to female; injecting estradiol esters weekly)
• intrusive thoughts (taunting, anxiety, self-harm, suicidal, pushing suicide)
• prior delusions (paranoid, persecutory, delusions of reference, somatic, thought broadcasting, parasitosis)
• social anxiety and fear of abandonment
• self-destructive behaviour (punshing, head-banging, cutting, injecting, drug overdose)
• emotion intensification {xeff'emotional lability'}- and numbness
• passive- and active suicidal ideation (6+ incidents over the span of 7+ years)
• derealization (4+ incidents)
• hypo- manic episodes (ranging from 24 hours to 1 month)
• Intravenous stimulant addiction (starting februrary 2024)
• Insomnia (up to 6 days)

• Xea
• sexuality: feminine
• attributes:
• soft and gentle voice
• enjoys being innocent and joyful
• strives to show people unconditional kindness
• Christie, Christine and Christe
• sexuality: feminine ashamed
• interests: synthesis
• favorite compounds:
• ethanol (red wine)
• nicotine / β-carboline (tobacoo)
• attributes:
• used to be active in clandestine chemistry circles
• masculine voice she struggles to suppress
• Nazi-Xea, Manic-Xea and Asshole-Xea
• sexuality: masculine
• interests: anarchism, machining
• favorite compounds:
• methamphetamine
• diacetylmorphine
• attributes:
• frequently breaks out when 0xea is scared or overwhelmed
• often divuldges into self-harm or violence
• no impulse controll nor common communication filtering mechanisms
• frequent provocative usage of slurs and derogatory language
• wide exaggerated smile and laughter
• filled with resent
• struggles with irritability
• at times extreamly paranoid
• has a characteristic phantom limp
• reaccuring suicidal ideation
• acts recklessly often resulting in burned bridges
• Mirror-Xea
• sexuality: masculine
• interests: monologueing to self while staring into the mirror
• attributes:
• comes out rarely while starring into the mirror too long
• keeps telling 0xea psychotic courses of actions they should be taking
• gossip girl voice
• frequent usage of slurs
• lonely
• Xander
• interests: anatomy
• attributes:
• recently broke out following Nazi-Xea's relentless beating of their own face face and relapsing
• used to front and disect animals sometime around highschool
• intrusive and at times inappropriate

Routes of Administration

Substance Matrix (tried 115 substances)

Substance Ranklists

Stimulants

Compound	Structure	Notes
4-Methylpentedrone[hydrochloride] via Insufflated, Intravenous		duration: 2-3 hours intravenous moderately entactogenic; intense short acting euphoria; quite potent; stimulation
3,4-Methylenedioxy-α-pyrrolidinoisohexanophenone[hydrochloride] via Insufflated, Intravenous		duration: moderate insufflated strong stimulation; strong euphoria; moderately entactogenic
Dextroamphetamine[sulfate] via Oral, Intravenous		strong stimulation; clean euphoria; minimal vasoconstriction
Lisdexamphetamine[dimesylate] via Oral, Intravenous		prodrug to dextroamphetamine; moderate stimulation; moderate euphoria; minimal vasoconstriction
3,4-Methylenedioxy-α-pyrrolidinohexiophenone[freebase][hydrochloride][citrate] via Insufflated, Intravenous, Vaporized		duration: moderate insufflated strong stimulation; strong euphoria; mildly entactogenic; vaporized has distinctive disgusting mushroom smell
Metaphedrone[hydrochloride] via Intravenous, Insufflated, Subcutaneous, Oral, Intrarectal, Vaporized		lighly entactogenic; strong stimulation; clean but short-acting euphoria; intensely addictive (made me feel as if this feeling would be the purpose of the rest of my life); memory suppression; corrosive
Dextromethamphetamine[hydrochloride] via Oral, Insufflated, Intrarectal, Subcutaneous, Intramuscular, Intravenous, Vaporized		strong stimulation; intense euphoria; long half-life but short euphoria; strong dry mouth); frequently causes headaches
Orthophedrone[hydrochloride] via Intravenous, Insufflated, Subcutaneous, Oral, Intrarectal		lighly entactogenic; highly stimulating; extreamly short-acting euphoria; intensely addictive; much more potent than expected; memory suppression
5-Dihydrobenzofuranpyrovalerone[hydrochloride] via Insufflated, Intravenous		moderate euphoria; uncomfortable intravenously
Amphetamine[freebase][sulfate][hydrochloride] via Oral, Insufflated, Intrarectal, Subcutaneous, Intramuscular, Intravenous, Inhaled, Vaporized, Sublingual		comeup: 1 minute intravenous and 25 minute subcutaneous duration: 3-4 hours intravenous moderate stimulation; moderate euphoria; strong vasoconstriction
Cocaine[freebase][hydrochloride][citrate] via Intravenous, Vaporized		duration: 10 minute intravenous strong stimulation; strong euphoria; strong vasoconstriction; surprisingly entactogenic; occasional comfortable full body feeling; auditory alteration- or suppression; vaporized strong fishy smell
N-Ethyl-nor-pentedrone[hydrochloride] via Insufflated, Intravenous, Intrarectal, Oral		duration: short intravenous intense euphoria; quite tweaky
Mephedrone[hydrochloride] via Oral, Insufflated, Intravenous, Intrarectal, Vaporized		cat-piss odor; moderately entactogenic; moderate stimulation
3-Methylethcathinone[hydrochloride] via Insufflated, Intravenous		duration: moderate insufflated moderate stimulation and euphoria; instant gag reflex induced upon injection; potencial serotonin syndrome risk
Brephedrone[hydrochloride] via Insufflated		effective dosing not reached
Flophedrone[hydrochloride] via Insufflated, Intravenous		duration: very short intravenous moderate euphoria; strongly increased bodily temperature; quite unpleasant
Dimethocaine[freebase][citrate] via Intravenous, Vaporized		strong numbing effect both in veins and mouth; mild euphoria; pleasant vaporized
Methylphenidate[hydrochloride] via Oral, Intravenous		moderate euphoria; mild stimulation; interesting when intravenously injected; causes anxiety and strong vasoconstriction
Ethylphenidate[hydrochloride] via Oral		mild stimulation; passed out on it on both occasions
Caffeine[freebase][citrate] via Oral, Insufflated, Intravenous		light stimulation; discomfort at higher doses; toxicity has nearly taken my life
Nicotine[freebase][benzoate] via Vaporized, Transdermal		light stimulation; irritability; headache; helps take the edge of other stimulants
Modafinil via Oral		effects not notable
Bupropion[hydrochloride] via Oral, Intravenous		causes anxiety; previously coincideded panic attack; euphoria upon intravenous administration
N-Ethyl-nor-heptedrone[hydrochloride] via Insufflated, Intravenous		dull euphoria; increased bodily temperature
3-Fluoroethamphetamine[hydrochloride] via Intravenous		barely active even when intravenously administered
4-Fluoromethamphetamine[hydrochloride] via Intravenous		barely active even when intravenously administered; softer curve
4-Methylbuphedrone[hydrochloride] via Insufflated, Intrarectal, Intravenous		barely active; more sedating than stimulating
Pseudoephedrine[hydrochloride] via Oral, Vaporized, Intravenous		minor stimulation; >100mg anxiety; caused panic attack
Salbutamol[sulfate] via Inhaled		bronchodilation; minimal stimulation; increased heart rate
Formoterol[sulfate] via Inhaled		bronchodilation; minimal stimulation; increased heart rate
α-Pyrrolidino-2-phenylacetophenone[hydrochloride] via Insufflated, Intravenous		causes significant anxiety and a intoxicated dissociating stimulation

Entactogens

Compound	Structure	Notes
3,4-Methylenedioxymethamphetamine[hydrochloride] via Oral, Intravenous		duration: ~1 hour intravenous allowed me to reprocess some traumatic events; intensely entactogenic; upon intravenous injection will drain serotonin rapidly risking serotonin syndrome
Cocaine[freebase][hydrochloride][citrate] via Intravenous, Vaporized		duration: 10 minute intravenous strong stimulation; strong euphoria; strong vasoconstriction; surprisingly entactogenic; occasional comfortable full body feeling; auditory alteration- or suppression; vaporized strong fishy smell
3,4-Methylenedioxy-α-pyrrolidinoisohexanophenone[hydrochloride] via Insufflated, Intravenous		duration: moderate insufflated strong stimulation; strong euphoria; moderately entactogenic
Mephedrone[hydrochloride] via Oral, Insufflated, Intravenous, Intrarectal, Vaporized		cat-piss odor; moderately entactogenic; moderate stimulation
Metaphedrone[hydrochloride] via Intravenous, Insufflated, Subcutaneous, Oral, Intrarectal, Vaporized		lighly entactogenic; strong stimulation; clean but short-acting euphoria; intensely addictive (made me feel as if this feeling would be the purpose of the rest of my life); memory suppression; corrosive
Orthophedrone[hydrochloride] via Intravenous, Insufflated, Subcutaneous, Oral, Intrarectal		lighly entactogenic; highly stimulating; extreamly short-acting euphoria; intensely addictive; much more potent than expected; memory suppression

Dissociatives

Compound	Structure	Notes
2-Fluorodeschloroketamine[hydrochloride] via Insufflated		duration: ~3 hours insufflated similar to ketamine but more potent; mind melting dissociative effects
Eticyclidone[hydrochloride] via Insufflated		duration: ~5 hours insufflated smooth long acting effects; difficult self-asssesment; induces functional mania; helps deal with sensory overload and social interactions; bodily control enhancement
Methoxpropamine[hydrochloride] via Insufflated		smooth effects; induces functional mania; difficult self-asssesment
Nitrous oxide via Inhaled		overwhelming pulsing and buzzing; utterly hilarious; strong remaining visual noise; auditory alteration and loudening; intense euphoria; flavor reminicent of whipped cream; irritability; feelings of inexpressable revelations
Ketamine[hydrochloride] via Insufflated, Intravenous		unnerving if injected rapidly; body distortion; perception in snap frames; memory suppression; time distortion; followed by suicidal ideation; interesting mind manifestation with positive reinforcement
Tolicyclidine[hydrochloride] via Oral, Insufflated		anxiety suppression; inducing mania
Deschloroketamine[hydrochloride] via Insufflated		similar to ketamine but slighly more rough
Dextromethorphan[hydrobromide] via Oral		effective dosing not reached; might have worsened previous psychosis

Psychedelics

Compound	Structure	Notes
Lysergic acid fluorodiethylamide via Oral		"this was probably my best psychedelic experience so far"; "having a wondeful very peaceful experience"; "how can the breakdown of perception be this beautiful"; enhanced communication; novelty enhancement; thought connectivity; wakefulness; rejuvenation; anxiety suppression; mindfulness; increased pareidolia; visual acuity enhancement; color enhancement; frame rate suppression; drifting; texture liquidation; tracers; object alteration; geometry; visual exposure to semantic concept network; emotion intensification; thought loops
Dimethyltryptamine via Vaporized		duration: 3 minutes vaporized ~15mg vaporized produced very light effects but made me leave with newfound meaning and motivation; ~20mg vaporized produced feelings of shooting through space while completely clear in my head, very clean beautiful visuals; ~25mg vaporized produced feelings of being torn out of my body and lost in space; ~30mg vaporized made my subconcious start talking "please help me, I want to leave this place(refering to my place in life)"
Lysergic acid diethylamide via Oral		made me more concious of how dissociation influences my perception of reality; broke communication down to a fluid simplified interface; vulnerable animalistic perception of organic living beings; enabled understanding repressed part of myself
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-bromophenethylamine via map[Name:Oral], Intravenous		duration: 2.5 hours intravenous Time dilation; internal hallucinations; color enhancement; increased pareidolia; visual acuity enhancement; tactile enhancement; double vision; teeth grinding; intense experience when intravenously injected
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-chloro-N-(2-methoxybenzyl)phenethylamine via Oral, Sublingual		pronounced muscle tension, vasoconstriction and physical fatigue; on the tail end thought disorganization internal hallucinations; color enhancement; visual acuity enhancement; tactile enhancement; double vision; teeth grinding

Hormone medications

Compound	Structure	Notes
Estradiol undecylate via Subcutaneous, Intramuscular		estradiol prodrug ester; produces stable levels with no crashes when injected monthly
Estradiol enantate via Subcutaneous, Intramuscular		estradiol prodrug ester; minor crashes when injected weekly; discomfort when injected every 4 days
Estradiol cypionate via Subcutaneous		estradiol prodrug ester; crashes when injected weekly
Estradiol valerate via Subcutaneous, Intramuscular		estradiol prodrug ester; crashes when injected weekly
Estradiol[hemihydrate] via Transdermal		life saving hormone; caused figure changes; breast growth; body hair reduction; skin smoothing; emotion intensification
Dutasteride via Oral		significantly reduced hairloss; no side effects; very long halflife
Cyproterone acetate via Oral		helpful when estradiol levels drop below monotherapy levels; no side effects noticed so far
Beclometasone dipropionate via Inhaled		-
Melatonin via Oral		barely effective sleeping aid; potencially improves quality of sleep
Hydrocortisone via Dermal		-
Finasteride via Oral		coincided significant suicidal thoughts; very short halflife; stopped treatment after a month

Opioids

Compound	Structure	Notes
Mitragynine via Oral		quite relaxing yet helpful for working; minor pain relief; very helpful when crashing from stimulants; encourages sexuality
6-Monoacetylmorphine[citrate] via Intravenous		obtained by letting diacetylmorphine sit in a low pH solution for several weeks; quite potent; sedating to the point of inducing sleep; increased bodily temperature; minor pain relief; helps deal with siginificant emotional pain; weird dream like states which feel fully concious; encourages sexuality
Diacetylmorphine[citrate][ascorbate] via Vaporized, Intravenous		prodrug to 6-monoacetylmorphine; not very classy
Loperamide via Oral		-
Oxycodone via Oral, Intravenous		strong apathy and dysphoria; feelings of body melting; when injected minor euphoria followed by nausea; intense sweating and increased bodily temperature; minor pain relief

Antipsychotics

Compound	Structure	Notes
Quetiapine via Oral		somewhat anxiety; seams to relieve psychosis at proper dose; moderate sedation; unsure about effects on allergy
Amisulpride via Oral		quite pleasant antipsychotic
Promethazine via Oral		ineffective in treating acute panic; strongly delayed onset; potencial mild nausea suppression; uncertain effects on histamine
Aripiprazole via Oral		way too long half-life; anxiety and discomfort; increased heart rate; teeth grinding

Sedatives

Compound	Structure	Notes
Bromazepam via Oral		anxiety suppression
Lorazepam via Oral		anxiety suppression; strong memory suppression
Alprazolam via Oral, Intravenous		anxiety suppression; effective sedation; cancels out stimulants; practical intravenous-use (using additional solvant such as propylene glycol or ethanol)
Diazepam via Oral, Intravenous		anxiety suppression; effective sedation; cancels out stimulants
Temgicoluril via Oral		anxiety suppression
Pregabalin via Oral		baseline anxiety suppression; doesn't prevent sensory overload
Amlodipine[besylate] via Oral		-
Zolpidem[tartrate] via Oral		effective sedation; strange thoughts and dreams; visual thoughts
Ethanol via Oral, Inhaled, Intravenous		analysis suppression; euphoric; nausea; rather use this as a solvent
Baflofen via Oral		no notable anxiety suppression; coincided severe nausea
Benzylalcohol via Oral, Subcutaneous, Intramuscular, Dermal, Intradermal		sweet marzipan like smell turning sickly; low solubility in water; 2.5% dilution very bitter and mouth numbing; 0.25% dilution bareable dare I say nice with a bunch of sugar; disinhibiting; local anesthetic properties
Butane via Inhaled		minor euphoria; warm headrush; increased perspiration; flickering vision
Isopropanol via Inhaled		duration: ~24 hour inhaled accidental exposure through fumes; pretty euphoric and encouraging grandious thinking; headache; analysis suppression; rather use this as a solvent
Acetone via Inhaled		accidental exposure through fumes; analysis suppression; nausea; headache; rather use this as a solvent
Phenol via Oral, Dermal		accidental exposure through contamination; spill on hand causing blistering; suicide preparation

Cannabinoids

Compound	Structure	Notes
Tetrahydrocannabinol via Vaporized		analysis suppression; language suppression (hinders sincerity); time dilation
10-Hydroxyhexahydrocannabinol via Vaporized		analysis suppression; language suppression (hinders sincerity)
Cannabidiol via Oral, Vaporized		analysis suppression; CYP2D6 Inhibition unconfirmed

Antihistamines

Compound	Structure	Notes
Cetirizine[hydrochloride] via Oral		seamed too improve allergy symptoms
Bilastine via Oral		seamed too improve allergy symptoms
Diphenhydramine via Oral		sedation; analysis suppression; irritability; seams too improve allergy symptoms
Dimenhydrinate via Oral		-
Mirtazapine via Oral		creates unique bodily feeling; seams to suppress histamine effects; sedation for 2 days straight
Promethazine via Oral		ineffective in treating acute panic; strongly delayed onset; potencial mild nausea suppression; uncertain effects on histamine
Quetiapine via Oral		somewhat anxiety; seams to relieve psychosis at proper dose; moderate sedation; unsure about effects on allergy

Antidepressants

Compound	Structure	Notes
Fluoxetine via Oral		noted acute effects; long term no notable improvement in quality of life; slight potenciation of dextroamphetamine through CYP2D6 inhibition
Sertraline via Oral		seams to improve well being after MDMA use; notable potenciation of dextroamphetamine through CYP2D6 inhibition
Mirtazapine via Oral		creates unique bodily feeling; seams to suppress histamine effects; sedation for 2 days straight

Amino acids

Compound	Structure	Notes
Oxitriptan via Oral		seams to improve wellbeing after MDMA use
Theanine via Oral		light but pleasant effects
Omberacetam via Oral		mild stimulation
Acetylcysteine via Oral		taste of rotten eggs that ruined my dextromethamphetamine tea
Pyridoxine via Oral, Intravenous		uncertain activity; cold shudder upon intravenous injection
N-Acetyl-L-tyrosine via Oral, Intravenous		mild adrenic activity; corrosive in veins
Tryptophan via Oral		uncertain activity
Tyrosine via Oral		uncertain activity
γ-Aminobutyric acid via Oral		uncertain activity

Antiemetics

Compound	Structure	Notes
Domperidone via Oral		potencial mild nausea suppression
Promethazine via Oral		ineffective in treating acute panic; strongly delayed onset; potencial mild nausea suppression; uncertain effects on histamine
Butylscopolamine[hydrobromide] via Oral		dry mouth
Diphenhydramine via Oral		sedation; analysis suppression; irritability; seams too improve allergy symptoms

Antihypertensives

Compound	Structure	Notes
Minoxidil via Transdermal, Oral		intense vasodilation; promotes hair-regrowth; intense respiratory depression
Pregabalin via Oral		baseline anxiety suppression; doesn't prevent sensory overload
Amlodipine[besylate] via Oral		-

NSAIDs

Compound	Structure	Notes
Acetylsalicylic acid via Oral, Insufflated		reliefs minor headaches; causes useful blood thinning for stroke prevention
Ibuprofen via Oral		effects not notable
Paracetamol via Oral		effects not notable

Local anesthetics

Compound	Structure	Notes
Cocaine[freebase][hydrochloride][citrate] via Intravenous, Vaporized		duration: 10 minute intravenous strong stimulation; strong euphoria; strong vasoconstriction; surprisingly entactogenic; occasional comfortable full body feeling; auditory alteration- or suppression; vaporized strong fishy smell
Benzylalcohol via Oral, Subcutaneous, Intramuscular, Dermal, Intradermal		sweet marzipan like smell turning sickly; low solubility in water; 2.5% dilution very bitter and mouth numbing; 0.25% dilution bareable dare I say nice with a bunch of sugar; disinhibiting; local anesthetic properties
Benzocaine[freebase] via Buccal		strong numbing effect in mouth
Dimethocaine[freebase][citrate] via Intravenous, Vaporized		strong numbing effect both in veins and mouth; mild euphoria; pleasant vaporized
Menthol via Insufflated, Vaporized		decongestant effects; cooling sensation; reduces smoking irritation

Wound care

Compound	Structure	Notes
Octenidine[Dihydrochloride] via Dermal		antisepectic wound treatment
Ethylcyanoacrylate via Dermal		suboptimal for closing cuts; quite brittle

Misc

Compound	Structure	Notes
Sumatriptan[succinate] via Intravenous		warm uncomfortable panick inducing rush; burning sensation in my head immediately upon intravenous injection; increased perspiration; relaxed cool and clear head feeling
Lactase via Oral		seams to decrease skin reaction to lactose
Bicarbonate[Sodium] via Oral		temporarily increases urinary pH decreasing dextroamphetamine excression
Carbon via Oral		-