0xea (Xea, Christie)

This is 0xea

My 2024 blood plasma concentrations in review

My beloved plush bunny called Molly!

What's underneeth the smile (4th day sleep deprivation)

help.png (an old depiction of how my mind experiences itself)

My left arm hotspot map

Hyia!, I am 0xea(and the names of the voices in my head are Xea and Christie!).

Autistic girly creature and proto-wirehead, staying alive by *constantly* exclusively shooting up.

Come chat me up! <3, just don't be a meanie.

My proteins have existed for ~7504 days.

Interests

Pharmacology
Practical chemistry
Improvised pharmaceutical compounding during immense distress
Phlebotomy
Low level programming and reverse-engineering

Psyche

Autism spectrum disorder (level 1; diagnosed during childhood)
Sensory processing disorder(in overload causing intense pain and Thought deceleration)
Dissociative Amnesia (extensive repressed memories, reaccuring sudden inability to access any memories)
Dissociative identity disorder (3+ distinct personalities)
Transgender (Male to Female)
Intrusive thoughts (Taunting, Anxiety, Self-harm, Suicidal, pushing Suicide)
Previous Delusions (paranoid, persecutory, ideas of reference, somatic, thought broadcasting, parasitosis)
Auditory- and Visual Hallucinations (both sober and sleep deprivation- or substance-induced)
Social Anxiety and Fear of Abandonment
Self-destructive Behaviour (punshing, head-banging, cutting, injecting, drug overdose)
Emotional Lability- and Numbness
Passive- and Active Suicidal ideation (6+ incidents over the span of 7+ years)
Derealization (4+ incidents)
Hypo- Manic episodes (ranging from 24 hours to 1 month)
Intravenous {class 'stimulant' 'Stimulant'} Addiction (17+ months)
Insomnia (up to 6 days)

Substance Matrix (tried 111 substances)

Complications

Complication	Cause
Anaphylaxis	Intravenous Contaminant (potencial filter contamination while scraping from standing sniffing plate)
Serotonin syndrome	165mg Intravenous 3,4-Methylenedioxymethamphetamine and 370mg Intravenous Orthophedrone on the 23. June 2024 (self-destructive intravenous entactogen use, sustained after onset of symptoms; Increased bodily temperature, Shakiness; Clonus; Agitation)
Psychosis	100mg Oral Amphetamine, 20mg Oral Dextroamphetamine and 66mg Oral Dextromethorphan on the 29. October 2023 (Peripheral vision misinterpretation of being observed through window; A Being waving from the other room; taunting Auditory hallucinations forcing me to keep my eyes open; 3+ Voices drowning out thoughts till unconciousness; Memory suppression during dissociative state; distressed friend) 2955mg Intravenous Orthophedrone on the 9. June 2024 (in-part disturbing vivid dreams; amnesia; shift in perception as if looking at everything through a different perspective and setting; intense distress and fear of being alone, the darkness and being damaged; multi-layer Sleep Paralysis; Delusion of being poisoned by the friends taking care of me when suddenly a day after Psychosis onset visual drifting effects kicked in; immensely distressed by the ~100 syringes in my bed) Insufflated N-Ethyl-nor-pentedrone and Intravenous N-Ethyl-nor-pentedrone Insufflated 4-Methylpentedrone and Intravenous 4-Methylpentedrone on the 23. August 2024 ~180mg Insufflated 3,4-Methylenedioxy-α-pyrrolidinoisohexanophenone on the 26. September 2024 107mg Insufflated 3,4-Methylenedioxy-α-pyrrolidinohexiophenone on the 21. October 2024 (trapped in thought loop; inability to sleep; Presence of another entity taking controll of me, listening in and making me say the opposite of what I wanted to say) ~1g Intravenous Amphetamine (intense ideas of reference Delusions)
Transient ischemic attack	1700mg Oral Caffeine on the 6. October 2023 (tormenting 12 hour ordeal; convulsions; hyperventilation; increased heart rate (180+ bpm); high blood pressure and stiff feeling in my right arm; face drooping; strong numbing of sensations on the right side of my body; the following days struggles to walk due to weak heart and type) 100mg Intravenous Amphetamine (hyperventilation on the floor of workplace bathroom; increased heart rate (160+ bpm); High Blood Pressure; face drooping; moderate numbing of sensations on the right side of my body) ~50mg Intravenous Methylphenidate on the 26. May 2024 (crushed and dissolved extended release pellets out of mortar; high blood pressure; moderate numbing of sensations on the right side of my body)

Routes of Administration

Route of Administration	Paraphernalia	Site
Intravenous	1ml insulin syringe 1ml luer-lock syringe 3ml luer-lock syringe 5ml luer-lock syringe with butterfly needle 10ml luer-lock syringe with butterfly needle 5ml luer-lock syringe 0.3ml insulin syringe	Cephalic Median cubital Femoral Dorsal metacarpal Small saphenous Dorsal venous arch Great saphenous
Inhaled	Metered-dose Inhaler Vaporizer Base pipe Foily Straight "Crack" pipe Volatile fumes Combusted	Mouth
Subcutaneous	Injector pen 0.3ml syringe 1ml syringe	Stomach Thigh Upper arm
Intrarectal	1ml syringe Suppository	Rectum
Intramuscular	1ml syringe Injector pen	Deltoid Vastus lateralis Vastus intermedius
Intranasal	Plate and cutter Syringe adapter atomizer Nasalspray	Nose
Transdermal	Patch	Upper arm Stomach
Oral	Capsule Solution Tablet Powder	Mouth

Substance Ranklists

Stimulants

Compound	Structure	Notes
Dextroamphetamine^[sulfate] via Oral and Intravenous		Strong Stimulation; clean Euphoria; Minimal Vasoconstriction
Lisdexamphetamine^[dimesylate] via Oral and Intravenous		Prodrug to Dextroamphetamine; Moderate Stimulation; Moderate Euphoria; Minimal Vasoconstriction
3,4-Methylenedioxy-α-pyrrolidinoisohexanophenone^{[hydrochloride]} via Insufflated and Intravenous		Strong Stimulation; Strong Euphoria; Moderately Entactogenic; Moderate Duration Insufflated
4-Methylpentedrone^{[hydrochloride]} via Insufflated and Intravenous		Moderately Entactogenic; intense short acting Euphoria; quite potent; Stimulation lasting 2-3 hours intravenous
3,4-Methylenedioxy-α-pyrrolidinohexiophenone^[freebase]^{[hydrochloride]}^[citrate] via Insufflated, Intravenous and Vaporized		Strong Stimulation; Strong Euphoria; Mildly Entactogenic; Moderate Duration Insufflated; vaporized has distinctive disgusting Mushroom Smell
Orthophedrone^{[hydrochloride]} via Intravenous, Insufflated, Subcutaneous, Oral and Intrarectal		Lighly Entactogenic; Highly Stimulating; extreamly short-acting Euphoria; Intensely Addictive; Much more Potent than expected; Memory suppression
Metaphedrone^{[hydrochloride]} via Intravenous, Insufflated, Subcutaneous, Oral, Intrarectal and Vaporized		Lighly Entactogenic; Strong Stimulation; clean but short-acting Euphoria; Intensely Addictive (made me feel as if this feeling would be the purpose of the rest of my life); Memory suppression; Corrosive
5-Dihydrobenzofuranpyrovalerone^{[hydrochloride]} via Insufflated and Intravenous		Moderate Euphoria on high doses; uncomfortable intravenously
Dextromethamphetamine^{[hydrochloride]} via Oral, Insufflated, Intrarectal, Subcutaneous, Intramuscular, Intravenous and Vaporized		Strong Stimulation; Intense Euphoria; Long Half-life but Short Euphoria; Strong Dry mouth); Frequently causes Headaches
Amphetamine^[freebase]^[sulfate]^{[hydrochloride]} via Oral, Insufflated, Intrarectal, Subcutaneous, Intramuscular, Intravenous, Inhaled, Vaporized and Sublingual		Moderate Stimulation; Moderate Euphoria; Strong Vasoconstriction; Practical via Intravenous Injection, 1 minute comeup 3-4 hour duration; Practical via Subcutaneous Injection 25 minute comeup
Cocaine^[freebase]^{[hydrochloride]}^[citrate] via Intravenous and Vaporized		Strong Stimulation; Strong Euphoria; Strong Vasoconstriction; Intravenously Very Short Duration(~10 minutes); surprisingly Entactogenic; occasional comfortable full body feeling; Auditory alteration- or suppression; Vaporized Strong Fishy Smell
N-Ethyl-nor-pentedrone^{[hydrochloride]}		Intense Euphoria; Short Duration; quite tweaky
Mephedrone^{[hydrochloride]} via Oral, Insufflated, Intravenous, Intrarectal and Vaporized		Cat-piss Odor; Moderately Entactogenic; Moderate Stimulation
3-Methylethcathinone^{[hydrochloride]} via Insufflated and Intravenous		Moderate Stimulation and Euphoria; Moderate Duration; instant Gag Reflex Induced upon Injection; Potencial Serotonin syndrome risk
Brephedrone^{[hydrochloride]} via		Effective Dosing not reached
Flophedrone^{[hydrochloride]} via Insufflated and Intravenous		Moderate Euphoria; Very Short Duration; Strongly Increased bodily temperature; Quite Unpleasant
Dimethocaine^[freebase]^[citrate] via Intravenous and Vaporized		strong numbing effect both in veins and mouth; mild Euphoria; pleasant vaporized
Methylphenidate^{[hydrochloride]} via Oral and Intravenous		Moderate Euphoria; Mild Stimulation; interesting when intravenously injected; Causes Anxiety and Strong Vasoconstriction
Ethylphenidate^{[hydrochloride]} via		Mild Stimulation; passed out on it on both occasions
Caffeine^[freebase]^[citrate] via Oral, Insufflated and Intravenous		Light Stimulation; discomfort at higher doses; toxicity has nearly taken my life
Nicotine^[freebase]^[benzoate] via Vaporized and Transdermal		Light Stimulation; causes Irritability and Headaches; Helps take the Edge of other {class 'stimulant' 'Stimulants'}
Modafinil via		Effects not notable
Bupropion^{[hydrochloride]} via Oral and Intravenous		Paradoxical Pharmacology; Caused Panic attack
N-Ethyl-nor-heptedrone^{[hydrochloride]} via Insufflated and Intravenous		Dull Euphoria; increased bodily temperature
3-Fluoroethamphetamine^{[hydrochloride]} via		Barely Active even when intravenously administered
4-Fluoromethamphetamine^{[hydrochloride]} via		Barely Active even when intravenously administered; softer curve
4-Methylbuphedrone^{[hydrochloride]} via		Barely Active; More Sedating than Stimulating
Pseudoephedrine^{[hydrochloride]} via Oral, Vaporized and Intravenous		Minor Stimulation; >100mg Anxiety; Caused Panic attack
Salbutamol^[sulfate] via		Bronchodilation; Minimal Stimulation; Increased heart rate
Formoterol^[sulfate] via		Bronchodilation; Minimal Stimulation; Increased heart rate
α-Pyrrolidino-2-phenylacetophenone^{[hydrochloride]} via Insufflated and Intravenous		Causes Significant Anxiety and a rather Intoxication and Dissociating Stimulation

Entactogens

Compound	Structure	Notes
3,4-Methylenedioxymethamphetamine^{[hydrochloride]} via Oral and Intravenous		Allowed me to reprocess some traumatic events; Intensely Entactogenic; Upon intravenous Injection will drain Serotonin rapidly risking Serotonin syndrome
Cocaine^[freebase]^{[hydrochloride]}^[citrate] via Intravenous and Vaporized		Strong Stimulation; Strong Euphoria; Strong Vasoconstriction; Intravenously Very Short Duration(~10 minutes); surprisingly Entactogenic; occasional comfortable full body feeling; Auditory alteration- or suppression; Vaporized Strong Fishy Smell
3,4-Methylenedioxy-α-pyrrolidinoisohexanophenone^{[hydrochloride]} via Insufflated and Intravenous		Strong Stimulation; Strong Euphoria; Moderately Entactogenic; Moderate Duration Insufflated
Mephedrone^{[hydrochloride]} via Oral, Insufflated, Intravenous, Intrarectal and Vaporized		Cat-piss Odor; Moderately Entactogenic; Moderate Stimulation
Metaphedrone^{[hydrochloride]} via Intravenous, Insufflated, Subcutaneous, Oral, Intrarectal and Vaporized		Lighly Entactogenic; Strong Stimulation; clean but short-acting Euphoria; Intensely Addictive (made me feel as if this feeling would be the purpose of the rest of my life); Memory suppression; Corrosive
Orthophedrone^{[hydrochloride]} via Intravenous, Insufflated, Subcutaneous, Oral and Intrarectal		Lighly Entactogenic; Highly Stimulating; extreamly short-acting Euphoria; Intensely Addictive; Much more Potent than expected; Memory suppression

Dissociatives

Compound	Structure	Notes
2-Fluorodeschloroketamine^{[hydrochloride]} via		similar to ketamine but more potent; Moderate Duration (~3 Hours); mind melting dissociative effects
Eticyclidone^{[hydrochloride]} via		10-20mg smooth long acting(~5 hours) effects; Difficult Self-asssesment; Induces functional Mania; helps deal with Sensory overload, Social interactions and fine Motor ability
Methoxpropamine^{[hydrochloride]} via		Smooth Effects; Induces functional Mania; Difficult Self-asssesment
Nitrous oxide via		Overwhelming Pulsing and Buzzing; utterly Hilarious; strong remaining visual noise; auditory alteration and loudening; Intense Euphoria; flavor reminicent of whipped cream; Irritability; feelings of inexpressable revelations
Ketamine^{[hydrochloride]} via Insufflated and Intravenous		Unnerving if Injected Rapidly; Body Distortion; Perception in Snap Frames; memory suppression; time distortion; followed by suicidal thoughts; interesting mind manifestation with positive reinforcement
Tolicyclidine^{[hydrochloride]} via Oral and Insufflated		Anxiety suppression; Inducing Mania at 10mg
Deschloroketamine^{[hydrochloride]} via		similar to ketamine but slighly more rough
Dextromethorphan^{[hydrobromide]} via		effective dosing not reached; might have worsened previous psychosis

Psychedelics

Compound	Structure	Notes
Dimethyltryptamine via		~15mg vaporized produced very light effects but made me leave with newfound meaning and motivation; ~20mg vaporized produced feelings of shooting through space while completely clear in my head, very clean beautiful visuals for 3 minutes; ~25mg vaporized produced feelings of being torn out of my body and lost in space for 3 minutes; ~30mg vaporized made my subconcious start talking "please help me, I want to leave this place(refering to my place in life)"
Lysergic acid diethylamide via		150mcg made me more concious of how dissociation influences my perception of reality, broke communication down to a fluid simplified interface, vulnerable animalistic perception of organic living beings, enabled understanding repressed part of myself
2,5-Dimethoxy-4-bromophenethylamine via Oral and Intravenous		Time dilation; Internal hallucinations; Color enhancement; Increased pareidolia; Visual acuity enhancement; Tactile enhancement; Minor Double vision; Teeth grinding; Intense 2.5 hour experience when intravenously injected;

Hormone medications

Compound	Structure	Notes
Estradiol undecylate via Subcutaneous and Intramuscular		Prodrug Ester of Estradiol; produces stable levels with no crashes when injected monthly
Estradiol enantate via Subcutaneous and Intramuscular		Prodrug Ester of Estradiol; minor crashes when injected weekly; discomfort when injected every 4 days
Estradiol cypionate via		Prodrug Ester of Estradiol; crashes when injected weekly
Estradiol valerate via Subcutaneous and Intramuscular		Prodrug Ester of Estradiol; Crashes when injected weekly
Estradiol^{[hemihydrate]} via		life saving hormone; caused figure changes, breast growth, body hair reduction, skin smoothing and emotional enhancements
Dutasteride via		significantly reduced hairloss; no side effects; very long halflife
Cyproterone acetate via		helpful when estradiol levels drop below monotherapy levels; no side effects noticed so far
Beclometasone dipropionate via		Nothing to note
Melatonin via		barely effective sleeping aid; potencially improves quality of sleep
Hydrocortisone via		Nothing to Note
Finasteride via		coincided significant suicidal thoughts; very short halflife; stopped treatment after a month

Opioids

Compound	Structure	Notes
Mitragynine via		quite relaxing yet helpful for working; reduces minor pain; very helpful when crashing from <a href=/class/stimulant>Stimulants</a>; encourages sexuality
6-Monoacetylmorphine^[citrate] via		obtained by letting Diacetylmorphine sit in a low pH solution for several weeks; quite potent; relaxing to the point of inducing sleep; warm; minor pain reduction; helps deal with siginificant emotional pain; weird dream like states which feel fully concious; encourages sexuality
Diacetylmorphine^[citrate]^[ascorbate] via Vaporized and Intravenous		<a href=/class/prodrug>Prodrug</a> to 6-Monoacetylmorphine; not very classy
Loperamide via		Nothing to Note
Oxycodone via Oral and Intravenous		strong Apathy and Dysphoria; feelings of body melting; when injected Minor Euphoria followed by Nausea, Intense Sweating and increased bodily temperature; Minor Pain relief

Antipsychotics

Compound	Structure	Notes
Quetiapine via		Somewhat Anxiety inducing to use; seams to relieve psychosis at proper dose in the matter of 3-7 hours; Moderate Sedation; unsure about effects on allergy
Amisulpride via		messed me up at low dosage; kept me safe at a full dosage; quite pleasant probably due to opioid / GHB effects
Promethazine via		Ineffective in treating Acute Panic; strongly delayed onset; Potencial Mild Nausea suppression; Uncertain Effects on Histamine
Aripiprazole via		way too long half-life; anxiety and discomfort; Increased heart rate; teeth grinding

Sedatives

Compound	Structure	Notes
Bromazepam via		Anxiety suppression
Lorazepam via		Anxiety suppression; Strong memory suppression
Alprazolam via Oral and Intravenous		Anxiety suppression; Effective Sedation; cancels out <a href=/class/stimulant>Stimulants</a>; Practical Intravenous-use (using additional Solvant such as Propylene glycol or Ethanol)
Diazepam via Oral and Intravenous		Anxiety suppression; Effective Sedation; cancels out <a href=/class/stimulant>Stimulants</a>
Temgicoluril via		Anxiety suppression
Pregabalin via		Baseline Anxiety suppression; doesn't prevent Sensory overload
Amlodipine^[besylate] via		Nothing to Note
Zolpidem^[tartrate] via		Effective Sedation; Strange Thoughts and Dreams; Visual thoughts
Ethanol via Oral, Inhaled and Intravenous		Analysis suppression; Euphoric at Nauseating doses; Rather use this as a solvent
Baflofen via		no notable Anxiety suppression at 200mg; coincided Severe Nausea
Benzylalcohol via Oral, Subcutaneous, Intramuscular, Dermal and Intradermal		Sweet Marzipan like Smell turning sickly; Low solubility in water; 2.5% Dilution very bitter and mouth numbing; 0.25% Dilution bareable dare I say nice with a bunch of sugar; 500mg Disinhibiting; Local anesthetic properties
Butane via		Minor Euphoria; Warm Headrush; Increased Sweating; flickering vision
Isopropanol via		Accidental exposure through fumes; pretty Euphoric and encouraging grandious thinking; Causes Headaches; Analysis suppression; ~24 hour duration; Rather use this as a solvent
Acetone via		Accidental exposure through fumes; Analysis suppression; Nauseating doses; Causes Headaches; Rather use this as a solvent
Phenol via		Accidental exposure through contamination; suicide preparation

Cannabinoids

Compound	Structure	Notes
Tetrahydrocannabinol via		Analysis suppression; Language suppression (hinders Sincerity); Time dilation
10-Hydroxyhexahydrocannabinol via		Analysis suppression; Language suppression (hinders Sincerity)
Cannabidiol via Oral and Vaporized		Analysis suppression; CYP2D6 Inhibition unconfirmed

Antihistamines

Compound	Structure	Notes
Cetirizine^{[hydrochloride]} via		Seamed too improve allergy symptoms
Bilastine via		seamed too improve allergy symptoms
Diphenhydramine via		At 50mg Sedating, Analysis suppression and Irritability; seams too improve allergy symptoms
Dimenhydrinate via		Nothing to note
Mirtazapine via		Creates unique Bodily feeling; seams to suppress histamine effects; Sedation for 2 days straight
Promethazine via		Ineffective in treating Acute Panic; strongly delayed onset; Potencial Mild Nausea suppression; Uncertain Effects on Histamine
Quetiapine via		Somewhat Anxiety inducing to use; seams to relieve psychosis at proper dose in the matter of 3-7 hours; Moderate Sedation; unsure about effects on allergy

Antidepressants

Compound	Structure	Notes
Fluoxetine via		noted acute effects; long term no notable improvement in quality of life; slight potenciation of lisdexamphetamine through CYP2D6 inhibition
Sertraline via		seams to improve well being after MDMA use; notable potenciation of lisdexamphetamine through CYP2D6 inhibition
Mirtazapine via		Creates unique Bodily feeling; seams to suppress histamine effects; Sedation for 2 days straight

Amino acids

Compound	Structure	Notes
Oxitriptan via		seams to improve wellbeing after MDMA use
Theanine via		light but pleasant effects
Omberacetam via		Mild Stimulation
Acetylcysteine via		Taste of Rotten Eggs that ruined my Dextromethamphetamine Tea
Pyridoxine via Oral and Intravenous		Uncertain Activity
N-Acetyl-L-tyrosine via Oral and Intravenous		Uncertain Activity; injected 500mg intravenous; Corrosive
Tryptophan via		Uncertain Activity
Tyrosine via		Uncertain Activity
γ-Aminobutyric acid via		Uncertain Activity

Antiemetics

Compound	Structure	Notes
Domperidone via		Potencial Mild Nausea suppression
Promethazine via		Ineffective in treating Acute Panic; strongly delayed onset; Potencial Mild Nausea suppression; Uncertain Effects on Histamine

Antihypertensives

Compound	Structure	Notes
Minoxidil via Transdermal and Oral		Intense Vasodilation (promotes hair-regrowth) Intense Respiratory depression) at 10-15mg oral administration
Pregabalin via		Baseline Anxiety suppression; doesn't prevent Sensory overload
Amlodipine^[besylate] via		Nothing to Note

NSAIDs

Compound	Structure	Notes
Acetylsalicylic acid via Oral and Insufflated		Reliefs Minor Headaches; causes useful blood thinning for stroke prevention
Ibuprofen via		Effects not notable
Paracetamol via		Effects not notable

Local anesthetics

Compound	Structure	Notes
Cocaine^[freebase]^{[hydrochloride]}^[citrate] via Intravenous and Vaporized		Strong Stimulation; Strong Euphoria; Strong Vasoconstriction; Intravenously Very Short Duration(~10 minutes); surprisingly Entactogenic; occasional comfortable full body feeling; Auditory alteration- or suppression; Vaporized Strong Fishy Smell
Benzylalcohol via Oral, Subcutaneous, Intramuscular, Dermal and Intradermal		Sweet Marzipan like Smell turning sickly; Low solubility in water; 2.5% Dilution very bitter and mouth numbing; 0.25% Dilution bareable dare I say nice with a bunch of sugar; 500mg Disinhibiting; Local anesthetic properties
Benzocaine^[freebase] via		strong numbing effect in mouth
Dimethocaine^[freebase]^[citrate] via Intravenous and Vaporized		strong numbing effect both in veins and mouth; mild Euphoria; pleasant vaporized
Menthol via Insufflated and Vaporized		Decongestant effects; Cooling sensation; Reduces smoking irritation

Topical skin adhensives

Compound	Structure	Notes
Ethylcyanoacrylate via		Suboptimal for closing cuts, quite brittle

Misc

Compound	Structure	Notes
Sumatriptan via		warm uncomfortable panick inducing rush and burning sensation in my head immediately upon intravenous injection; increased sweating; relaxed cool and clear head feeling
Lactase via		Seams to decrease skin reaction to lactose
Bicarbonate^[Sodium] via		Temporarily increases urinary pH decreasing dextroamphetamine excression
Carbon via		Nothing to note

Anodyne