It's worse than you think but it's more beautiful than you can imagine.

An entity was taking over my mind, so naturally I started injecting random substances to kill it.

As I climbed out of my sarcophagus of syringes, micron-filters, cotton-balls, IV lines and bowls made out of aluminum foil, I felt like I had been hard reset.

mephedrone is not supposed to be a powerful psychedelic, amphetamine is not supposed to be brown and blood is not supposed to be in your urine.

Riding the line between euphoria and psychosis.

Dedicated methamphetaminesulin pen.

Symptoms: heart palpitations, tachycardia(180bpm)
Treatment(de la 0xea): 0.7g intravenous ethanol

stimfapping is hypothesized to have been practiced over 5,000 years ago when ephedrine first started being used in traditional Chinese medicine.

Due to its mild dopamine releasing effects it is likely that proto-stimfapping occured.

3:00 50mg orthophedrone IV
3:05 50mg orthophedrone IV
3:10 50mg orthophedrone IV

Psychotics and other lifestyle-chemicals

Doctors opted to inject morphine rather than administering it orally, in the hope that addiction would not develop.

Why am I not dead yet?, Do I want to die?, Do I want to life?

Pssss... hey there!, can a red eyed crying dissociated 0xea offer you a Xea-moment?

Down on my stomach, halfwake. I hear a beep similar to our water boiler but I try to ignore it. As I start to feel someones presence I try to get up in panic but can’t move like someone is holding me down firmly. Suddenly my mind is disturbed, a electric shock of pure pressures like someone send noise into my mind, accompanied by a horrific screeching scream. I try to call out „Hilfe!!“ but all that comes out is sloppy sobbing, seconds later its gone, my head hurts now.

Psychedelic phenethylamine go weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! ^w^

If this is a mind manifesting drug, than my mind is both love and a nighmare swarm of angry spinning rainbows.

When a thought seams intrusive, show it kindness.

Seams like the degenerate supportive drug addicts are still here!.. shuuu!!.. go away!.. this drug wiki is only for us pseudo intellectual drug addicts!

Fund your favorite moderator's IV cathinone habit to accelerate moderation!

Yesterday: > induces serotonin-syndrome "for fun"
Today: starts taking subverted* fluoxetine

Listening to music while experiencing IV serotonin rush adds amazing metallic distortions and extra depth when its not inducing a intense fear of death.

Hun, are you abusing the fact that your super serious professional moderator Xea is on 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine?

Don't IV crushed methylphenidate XR pellets kids!. Not because it will destroy your lungs but because its not fun :(

Shit.. I gave away too much detail!, the feds are going to hunt me down and charge Molly(my adorable plush bunny), for all the heinous crimes she has commited!

Need Hate Help Pain Words Die :) Me

Sometimes you leave the room when I am about to shoot up and once alone I start crying out in distress till its done, It hurts, I am dependent, scared and numb all I want is to not be alone or worry about being misunderstood

Having stayed awake for the past 6 days made me forget about all the events which aren't happening in my life.

Sherlock Holmes occasionally used morphine and sometimes cocaine(which he injected in a seven-per cent solution.)

Introducing... paperclip cancer soup!!!

Xea is eepy enough, make me stop being sad you stupid {sub 'diacetylmorphine' 'acetylated morphine garbage}!

> Has her first 30 minute session with a new psychiatrist
Leaves with two antipsychotic prescriptions*

> abuses sertraline to inhibit CYP2D6 and antacids to raising my urinary pH enough to reduce urinary excretion of certain amines)...
Only to make this be remotely enough dextroamphetamine to get high (Xea is out of drugies ;-;)

I abuse the wiki by treating it as a friend and dumping all my deranged thoughts into it, that way Xea is never alone ^^.
Inject the wiki into my veins!!!

I seam to start spasming uncontrollably with my entire body once I have reached a certain threshold(close to stimulant psychosis).

Experiencing psychedelic effects from orthophedrone, not sure if its my psychosis coming-back, but honestly, I don't care, Im so done.

You are not alone. You will get through this. You are loved... even if only by me. Run if you need to run.

Schrödinger's brain

> gets sligly embarrassed
The voice: "Xea, please just take a shoot, I can't do this anymore, its just too-much, please give me a shoot, please, please, please, just take a shoot, take a shoot, shoot!, shoot!, weeeee!!!!"

Nazi-Xea: "if xea were awake right now she would be crying"

Turn half that smile upside-down!

Transcending dopamine availability and biweekly sleep

The Reichsmaster of the Injections.

Dr. Morell went on to prescribe powder cocaine to soothe Hitler's throat and clear his sinuses.

When I lost hope my thoughts will taunt the confused innocence inside me till it dies, like it has over and over and over again.

Fade away alone in terror, dreaming of what wonders we could have shared.

A concoction of egg whites and brandy laced with a small amount of strychnine.

unlocks kindergarden memory while watching 110mg metaphedrone being pumped into my veins*

These veins?, golden!

The organism remembers despair

If I collapse right now I will never get back up again

I am mentally ill, I go crazy every couple of months, I am lonely as fuck and most of the people who I meet just end up hurting me more, literally every second outside in my city is painful for me, I have a soul crushing job where nobody respects me or interacts with me, but you are trying to attribute my IV drug use to the fact that I am trans and feel bad when people misgender or deadname me?

> looks at a vial of my own rotting blood with tiny cobwebs inside
"if this is a metaphor 0xea I don't think I get it"

In organic chemistry, amphetamine is an excellent chiral ligand for the stereoselective synthesis of 1,1'-bi-2-naphthol.

I was considering going there, writting a couple of people's names in blood and than finishing myself

Eine Nase goerli-speed-paste a day keeps the dark thoughts at bay.

The reality of a junkie: you have a bag and no syringe, what do you do??!

Keep the syringe you rascal!

Remember how I used to say I can feel 20mg metaphedrone burning in my veins traveling up my arms?, that feeling went away besides for my hands but when I take a shoot like this I feel my entire body burning down to my toes

Its such a catchy name!, eticyclidone?!, eticyclidone!!, eticyclidone!!!

I injected 10mg 2,5-dimethoxy-4-bromophenethylamine with 40mg mephedrone and half a minute later I immediately left, my perception started being stretched and turned into a spiral, I started being able to see nothing but black and only hearing my own breathing immensely loud starting to hyperventilate, 2 hours in the effects were still quite notable(perspective split into 6 sections) but I was back in my bed, I felt deeply sad about the previous conflicts and lost friends I had made, 2.5 hours in the effects nearly fully subsided and Xea decided to inject a fake 1mg alprazolam tablet dissolved with 1/3 anhydrous ethanol in saline

Subjective effects: irritability, ...
Subjective effects?!!, Im about to give you some subjective defects if you don't shut up!!!

I got a gram and shoved it right into its USB port!!!

Oh my god!, OH MY GOD!!, WHY DID I EVER PUT CATHINONES DIRECTLY INTO MY VEINS!!!
She was only a lost child who tried to escape into her only comfort, but it has been long over a year sitting in the the corner of my bed, just recovered from my 7th stimulant psychosis, nothing will ever be the same...

During the minute long 250mg infusion, pools of tears were washing over my blood stained arm and around the butterfly needle I had just violently thrust into it

> snacks on a fist full of sugar cubes
> pours 5 different lipids into a shoot glass, adds rice vinegar, salt and downs it
> empties out a tube of mustard into her mouth
drinks a tube of tomato paste dry
> pours maggie wuerze into her mouth*

Super Hans: He is in a k-hole right now, but in 10 the speed will kick in.
A can of caffeine and a nicotine. He'll be right as rain.

Super Hans: That is one serious caffeine-injection my friend!

Hold on girls!, we are going to make a spliff out of nutmeg(myristicin and elemicin) and banana peals!

Super Hans: The endorphines(α-endorphin, β-endorphin and γ-endorphin) kicked in and I couldn't stop!

Super Hans: I don't know what to think, I have seen through the iron needle, I have seen it, I have finally bloody seen it!, I have pulled open the hurt locker and had a big old rumage around!

Sernylan: bupropion is like: what if aliens wanted to make a cathinone... and they failed

This white powder could potencially be amphetamine, even kind of tastes like it, is that enough assurance to push it directly into my veins?, of course it is retard!

Applies 42mg worth in nicotine patches
Psychedelic headrush*!

Applies 42mg worth in nicotine patches
lowballs the dealer’s whole stock of amphetamine for 50 bucks
christie is back bitches! ;P

Somehow the heroin gives him an edge!, make him smarter, stronger, faster than any regular man could be!
Him name? Smocaine!

I have run from the shadow-police, do you think I can't run from ordinary-cops?

No impulse controll, zero fucks given

Kid was 16 years old, in montgomery park, jacked up on so much P2P, his eye's had spirals in them, his mother didn't even know who the fuck he was

If anybody in here is going to be taking this P2P it ain't going to be kids, its going to be me!

Dammit smocaine, I know the heroin makes you some kind of super-cop but you can't keep going around the city crashing up cruzers

Smocaine and Deucey make it through the warehouse undetected, thank in no small part to Smoc's heroin amplified stealth and oxy80-boosted infiltration tactics. When they reach the kingpin's inner sanctum, Deuce is ready to start blasting but Smocaine uses his drug-addled lighting-fast genius brain to come up with a clever undercover ruse...

"oh no!, im out of amphetamine!"
> scrapes together ~2-3 gram from stray vials, centrifudge tubes, beakers, filter paper and the floor

Sorry my parsing is shoot... I should have another shoot

Just caught myself referring to 0xea as my host in my thoughts... interesting to think of myself as a parasitic obsessive intrusive thought driving this organism insane... naw that surely doesn't sound like me(Christie)

Curiosity killed the cat and I couldn't give any less of a shit

I have no mouth and I must nugh!

TV Series Pitch: Breaking Bad but walter instead racemises the pseudoephedrine, oxidizes it to methcathinone, gets massively dependent on mad cathinone-use and than dies peacefully one year later from manganese poisoning induced parkinson's

World War I saw the greatest use of cocaine amongst militaries.

Xea bitte gib mir einen Schuss!

Occasionally the realization that I am trapped in an organic-creature becomes very distressing, really nothing seams meaningful or comforting anymore, sick of pretending I even vaugely care

I love being trapped in this head!

Wouldn't it be horrible if this time I actually died now?, wouldn't it be pathetic if you threw your chance at a more wholesome future in the trash because you couldn't stop poking your arms bloody?, wouldn't it be sad if you disappointed the 2 people who believe in what you do?, wouldn't it be horrible if the people that do care about you will have to shead tears for this bullshit?
takes another shoot*

0xea: like any good chemist I am doing this ethanol and while cooking a meal

Today on 0xea's magical adventures at goerlitzer park: "that's not methamphetamine!"

The Mercury physicians issued Glenn a number of medications for his survival pack, including morphine for pain, mephentermine sulfate for shock, benzylamine hydrochloride for motion-sickness, and racemic amphetamine sulfate (a common pep pill) for a stimulant.

Fetch the Anaesthetist, I want to go under the knife, I believe in this!

Christie: I am going to fucking kill you 0xea!!!
fails to beat herself to death*

Nazi-Xea: Sometimes I perceive myself as a subhuman intelligence, I lack the fears and emotions tearing Xea to shreds, I just want to fill my organisms stomach with food she won’t spew up

Checksum your reality!

I wish there was a way to checksum my reality to confirm if my perception had significantly altered, I feel like the thought that nothing is inherently quantifiable breaks me, not only because it means that checksumming reality is impossible, but because everybody(including me) keeps pretending that things are quantifiable and that any of those quantifiables remotely matter

Dereck is on ritalin, he looks like he is having a stroke, look at him!
Charls is a mental-patient ok?, he has no interest in winning or loosing, he is chaotic-neutral

So you are snorting it huh? than don't be a sucker!, you are wasting it that way!, use a needle!(don't)

I wish love and happiness to every being who reads this and weep for every lost soul who might use my writings to end themselves with hope in sight.

This is a guide to preparing to commit or actively committing a rapid chemical suicide via intravenous injection, using or synthesized from chemicals which are unlikely to ever be voided by future restrictions.

Im here with you, its going to be ok, I promise, I promise I promise, please don't loose hope for no reason.

My best any% 4-liters-of-used-needles run is only 30 days

The natural urge to perform an intravenous injection of <undefined>

Oh sertraline is a CYP2D6 inhibitor you say?, interesting!
continues uncontrollably shaking* in place

Reducing underdosing: Underdosing is an often overlooked and underestimated type of medication-error resulting from dead or residual volume. However, there are ways that help to avoid the decreased treatment responses it can cause.

It is generally understood that human beings are carbon-based organisms, fusing little carbon tubes together to form complex, mushy structures capable of thought, love, and locomotion. It is also known that these structures sometimes like to “take the edge off” by consuming ethanol, amphetamine, etc. In such cases, it is important to supplement your body with magnesium. Tired? Mag it! Down? Mag time! Liver damage? MAXIMUM MAG!

HELL NO. You’re about to become a magnesium-based lifeform. The age of the primitive carbon-man is done. No longer must mankind rely on slow-working background-radiation to take us further into our genetic destiny. This is the era of guided-evolution, and magnesium is the key. You are the first of your species. The next step in human evolution. An advanced magnesium proto-man who mags it up, drinks it down, and sniffs it sideways!

What are your favorite-veins to inject into my fellow junkies?, 0xea loves shooting into her femoral from her groin ^^

When I was abusing IV amphetamines I was at the edge of accidentally killing myself via stroke(ischemia), they are much more adrenic causing excessive vasoconstriction which can be dangerous if you are at stroke-risk like 0xea :3333
when I am abusing IV cathinones, I start questioning my perception of reality.

When 0xea is abusing substituted amphetamines she reaches her strokeism/spasming threshold at the same time as moderate cognitive-euphoria kicks in.
When Xea is abusing substituted cathinones she is constanly riding the line between cognitive-euphoria and psychosis.

Highly professional psychonaut anodyne wiki staff at your service!

(Xea currently has an IV line in her arm feeding her massive amounts of metaphedrone)

My psychiatrist approves of my work.

It was like nothing I ever experienced, It made me want to focus on building a life... I feel like I have never been this happy in my life before even long after I had fully crashed out and communication had broken down
I would do anything to go back to that state, *anything!* including slitting throats and mutilating infants

Mind you last time I thought I was having a stroke and the right side of my body and sight was fading at 4 am and I decided not to call an ER but just inject more orange poisoned amphetamine and keep laying there alone listening to the rain waiting to see if I pass or not, not even able to cry

* brags about the different salts she has consumed amphetamine in

0xea previously both directly injecting large amounts of lisdexamphetamine or left about~ 100mg to react with a dilute solution of my own red blood cells in a 5ml syringe for half an hour before after micron filtration injecting it(before I got addicted to shooting up, lisdexamphetamine was my favorite drug ;-;)

> while being taunted starts hacking a pair of trauma shears into her leg

traumatised by trauma-shears causing your leg trauma?, now we are talking!

> jumps up with all the desperation she can bring-up crying out in distress trying to forcefully reach the scapel she had left laying on the floor... with the intend of finally slicing her throat

I just drew a knife on her and told her to leave today, I think christie wants to end it now, I don't know what I should still do

Friend: end it as in the relationship?

My life, she seams ok with it, my hopes are over, I already said I will in the next hour, I have a vial with very crude beautiful violent phenol, it would do the job, even if it would be agonising, please don't call anybody, that would force me to

At the end of today I will either be in a clinic, in a corner on the floor or dead

Common adverse reactions of methylphenidate include euphoria

In rhesus monkeys with a previous history of 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine (MDMA) self-administration...

Most of my savings were turned into metaphedrone corroding the inside of my veins and overcharged pharmacy prices on weekly 100x packs of insulin syringes while my previous friend-circle left me to rot because "Xea is doing methamphetamine!!"... the concept of using a prescription is no-longer viable, actually recently talking with my psychiatrist and she asked if I were interested in a methylphenidate prescription, before ending up agreeing with me that it would not be sustainable if I were to have to crush-up and inject a dozen xr capsules every-day

> huffs butane out of desperation fully concious of the associated risk of sudden-death and its accumulation in brain tissue

While N-Methylamphetamine itself is a powerful decongestant, it is less-desirable in a medical setting because of its severe side-effects and addictive properties.
Such side-effects may include wakefulness, agitation, irritability, dry mouth, sweating, and heart-palpitations. Other side effects may include violent-urges or, similarly, the urge to be successful in business or finance.

Ok, since last message my mind kind of collapsed, I struggle to recall anything and im alone and scared ;-;

While observing the texture of my room's sealing start to lose more and more if its details before turning into a constantly morphing soup during the peak of stimulant psychosis

I was thinking about how I have previously recontextualized the experience of berlin as a beach town or a sci-fi city with flying cars, etc in my memory without any issues and wondered if a mind accepting a new reality which is abstracted from the unnecessary entropy found in our "reality" would be possible or just psychotic rambling which my brain thought sounded about right because I was still on pyros

A clown-nose soaked in tears, blood and hopeless dreams

Will christie manage to finish refining amphetamine sulfate before she passes-out on her ~3rd day awake while nodding on diacetylmorphine??!!!, stay tuned to find-out!

> crushes 130mg shard of methamphetamine hydrochloride like a piece of rock candy
omg the unconditional happiness button works again :o

I miss my previous sensation of being euphoric and at times starting to hyperventilate just because I am free, outside and alive

just dissociatives making me want to die as usual
probably the most immediate substance-induced reduction of wellbeing that I have experienced

one day when I rann out of orthophedrone I just started smashing IV 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine till the serotonin syndrome absolutely destroyed me, I told the nurse who I was chatting with that night that "I just want to fucking die"

Nazi-Xea: go to hell all of you, I will see you all out at the gates of hell

Nazi-Xea: numb it all down, drink some ethanol and scream at your convulsing-mess, the next time I catch you I will make you suffer more than her

Who are you calling a junkie?!, have some respect!

I am the entire needle-exchange and its loyal userbase!

Anodyne 24/7 Professional Junkie hotline at your service!

If you choose to proceed, be aware of your own thoughts.

At the age of 13 little 0xea grabbed a knife and started hacking it into her throat because she couldn't take it anymore, since than I have felt like I was supposed to be dead and nothing that happens from here matters

I honestly feel an urge to end myself right now, I can't ofc because the distress I am experiencing is not significant enough to cause me to stop filtering / convulsing arm movement enough to cut or stab my throat violently, its such a miserable feeling, I wish I was sad or happy rn

I love violently driving low gauge hypodermic needles into large veins at the climax of a certain type of aggressive music, it kind of turns the experience into something very exciting kind of like hunting another organism and directly hyjacking its blood-stream, without the crultly and guilt of hurting a cute animal

instead I am just hurting myself to make Xea happy; christie always wanted to go hunting; but we love animals

the one time I disected the body of a dead mocking-bird that I found on the side of the road, I felt immensely disgusted at myself the second I was done with it after finding some parasites living in its beak and explored the cardiac anatomy(very odd; not what I expected to find)

Sorry my needs are 24 hours of selfharm and laying on the floor, leave me alone, I need space, my need for space is not only valid but pressing and more pressing than your need to understand

mirtazapine is a great antidepressant!, instead of wanting to sleep for 14 hours... it forces me to sleep for 14 hours.

I don't have brain-insury, I am just playing 4d chess and y'all are my pawns

> takes a hit from the pseudoephedrine-freebase vape.

EDTA is used as a weapon to kill vampires, exploding when in contact with vampire blood.

Pinkestman: I hate fucking society all those fucking people. Fuck all this I want to wipe my mind.

I was experiencing an longer lasting episode and starting to cave completely to several very powerful substances

I am mostly isolated now and the people I cared about barely awknoledge my existance, I am no longer in a little crisis, I am a heavy intravenous stimulant addict and genuinely regularly at the edge of killing-myself through substance-use, some of which are visibly contaminated or designer drugs which have not been subject to any studies.

I frequently inject grams of substituted methcathinones in a single-night now, I do so even though I can actively feel them disrupting my memory and driving me into psychosis, even if it doesn't even make me feel good anymore, something inside me wants me to keep destroying myself.

last weekend I gave myself serotonin syndrome and still kept injecting myself while it was happening because fuck me

DON'T TURN:

Be sad
Be happy
Look-at :)

People are enigmatic creatures in Anodyne, found primarily in the Mountain Cave. They do nothing but walk-around and make strange chattering noises.

something something "absolute bioavailability" "stop stealing my cathinones you gready enzymes!"

Today we establish Anodyne enterprises associates & dissociatives international consortium, ULC. (unregistered liability corporation)!

The advantage keeping us ontop of both the law and our competition(not too difficult)??!, Our commitment to our industry renowned "I'll just take the final way out" policy!

IV'ing N-Ethyl-nor-pentedrone feels like being trampeled on the floor by your dopamine

(disclaimer: Xea is withdrawing from ✨3,4-Methylenedioxy-α-pyrrolidinoisohexanophenone ✨ and wants to die)

Sitting in the rain.... with euphoria!, Xea loves rainy rain ^w^

uhh, ok slightly saddened, my arms are starting to scar and I feel so alone

...that being said, I might be diluting myself if I choose to believe that the entity in my head taunting me with images of me murdering the people I love can be befriended

> continues hitting self for no reason

I have 99 regrets and most of them are related to veins I am no-longer able to access.

I wanna leave I swear to God I feel like death is fuckin' callin' me.

I am gone, everything is completely dark than pure white; I accept that I will now experience what remains of existance

0xea bolts up awake; at the edge of tears*

This shit wouldn't have been published in the highly exclusive 0xea journal of applied degeneracy

There is nothing more powerful than a free-mind (that seeks to die)

My remaining sanity is operating at never before seen levels of coherence

You have no idea how much of my internal-dialog is just different 0xea begging each other for non-existant shoots

So "traumadumping" over gonna talk about human-beings like lines of cell-cultures from now on

Hamilton morris: There is alot of Jesuses out there, you don't want to be one of them, avoid being Jesus at all costs!

have you slept yet?

how much have you slept since?

did you sleep tonight?

you just need some sleep!

how long since you have slept?

After searching my floor for 15 minutes, I just ended up finding a ~40mg shard of methamphetamine hydrochloride clearing out the seam under my bed...

I want to care more, I really do

I often need to think how substance-usage in a sense is a way to highjack your neural-networks reward-mechanism, because when ever that happens in an AI there typically only follows stagnation and optimization of getting the shortcut

really it doesn't need to be this way but its curious to observe how these mechanisms are so powerful that they bring forth their own industry and culture backing them and assuring that they continue to exist, wonder if they haven't already won looking at today's prevalence of psychoactive-substance-use, I presume its subjective what is a psychoactive-substance but ethanol is the one that never seizes to disturb me

ahead of the curve! in no part aided by the vast array of voices in her head, at all times relentlessly taunting her with their unprompted guidance and granting her with boundless highly sophisticated far-reaching strategical foresight!

I just want to be up all the time. I don't want to be down anymore.

It keeps be up, basically. It keeps me sane, basically.

isopropylamphetamine solvant for my problems

An alien world consisting only of pain.

How can the breakdown of perception be this beautiful?

emily: trying to find the substance inbetween the spirals

People always talking 'bout "reputation"
I don't care about your other girls
Just be good to me

Friends are always telling me you're a user
I don't care what you do to them
Just be good to me

40mg methamphetamine intravenous... no lasting euphoria, I think this creature has finally drained her dopamine reserves

Nazi-Xea's advanced breakup coping procedure:
1. inject crushed up oxycodone tablets
2. make incision
3. suture back shut

It’s so strange that a mind that knows beauty in structure would crave its own destruction, or at least the destruction of the complex biological-system that supports it.

Its not a war on drugs, its a war on poor, its a war on the unwanted people of society.

Personally I have come to conclude that my only way out of mental illness will be the construction of a new empire!, which I will pave in unused 100mg quetiapine blisters!!... ok really what do I do with all these?, tempted to start isolating ~8-10 grams of pure quetiapine from these. One of those is enough to make me struggle to breathe with minor antipsychotic tolerance

yay! ^^, 0xea effectively communicated caution to another-organism!

Would you like to partake of a syringe of methamphetamine?

painfully urinates some blood clots

sigh... not again!

Does amphetamine make you too wired?, than we got just the codrug for you! (amphecloral -> amphetamine + chloral hydrate)

I was recently in berlin transport during methamphetamine-psychosis with the distinct impression of being a dysfunctional-outcast traveling through this massive singular-creature build up out of cruel uncaring mechanisms of conformity, complacency and cohesion

why do you even need therapy? this spread-sheet says you seam to be doing ok

Its a nightclub. Its normal. She is probably on drugs. She is probably having the time of her life

Is being in your mind like walking a mental tight-rope? Let me push you off... I would rather have my hands and feet blown-off in afghanistan than have to live in a mind like yours.

A minute in your head is an hour of agony but a year of your life is worth one second.

So sick of doing this to myself I first intended to end it 7 years ago, I regret not finding a knife sharp enough back then

One 10 minute ape-to-ape interaction and reminder that in 3 months I am going to be living of my savings(and petty-crime) later:

hell yeah its 150mg unhappy methamphetamine time! :3

Elliot Alderson: I exist in a world where I’m a shadow.

Eliot (Mr. Robot): "This!. the thrill of pwning a system this is the greatest-rush. Got access! The feeling never gets old.

0xea (your favorite degenerate): "I love driving hypodermic needles into veins at the climax of aggressive-music, it kind of turns the experience into something very exciting kind of like hunting another-organism and directly hyjacking its blood-stream."

Hi! if you are still around, a couple of months ago I became conscious of alot of things that had been there all along and I suddenly understood part of what happened between the two of us a bit more...

Mr.Robot(Mr.Robot): Anarchy should liberate us, not consume us.

Elliot Alderson(Mr.Robot): I exist in a world where I'm a shadow

Tyrell Wellick (Mr.Robot): Freedom comes at a price, and I’m ready to pay it.

Tyrell Wellick(Mr.Robot): The lines between reality and illusion fade quickly.

Irving(Mr.Robot): You can’t break the system without breaking a few rules.

Angela Moss (Mr.Robot):I’m not really living my life; I’m just going through the motions.

Elliot Alderson(Mr.Robot): I want to be a better person, but I don’t know how.

I think yesterday or sometime today I asked my mother and my partner how many people they think constitute their conciousness... ok maybe I am part of a hive-mind